


Faith is Both a Prison and the Open Hand

by slash4femme



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3899863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slash4femme/pseuds/slash4femme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn’t seem like this is going to go the way he had originally thought and he finds he’s ok with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faith is Both a Prison and the Open Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2009. I do not change/edit my older work, I only upload it here for archival reasons.

Technically alcohol was not allowed upon a federation ship. However this particular technicality didn’t stop the combined powers of McCoy and Scotty and it wasn’t like Jim was going to turn them in, or write them up for it. Especially with how many drinks the two had companionably shared with their young captain. The first time McCoy has to sedate the second in command to get him onto an examination table, McCoy finds himself after his shift is done leaning against the railing of an abandon observation deck drinking from his flask the way he hasn’t since his divorce was new.

It had been close today, too close. He’s slow becoming used to Jim taking those kinds of risks, but not Spock. He takes another drink. Damn the Vulcan. Would it really be too much to ask that he treat his own health with just as much logical restraint as everything else? McCoy takes another drink and tries to pretend his hands are not shaking.

They hadn’t really talked, him and Spock, not since . . .but this isn’t really the time to be thinking about _that._ Behind him the door slides smoothly open and McCoy whirls around to find the Vulcan in question standing in the open doorway. 

“What the hell are you doing out of sickbay?” McCoy screws the cap on his flask and takes a menacing step forward.

The other man holds up one hand. “Nurse Chapel released me doctor, and I assure you I am fine.”

McCoy fumbles at his waist and runs his hand-scanner quickly over Spock ignoring what kind of sorry-workaholic-without-a-life it made him that he actually carries it when he’s not technically on duty. The scanner tells him what he’s already suspected; Spock and Chapel had in fact been right, and Spock was well enough to be discharged. McCoy grunts slightly and slumps against the railing again.

“It occurs to me.” Spock leans against the railing as well. “That we have not talked properly in approximately a week standard-time.”

“Yeah.” McCoy thinks about unscrewing his flask again but suddenly doesn’t feel much like drinking. He looks over at Spock leaning against the railing next to him and thinks about the close call earlier that day. It might be time to take the plunge and get this over with. He sighs and rubs one hand across his eyes. “You and Uhura.”

Spock looked at him and McCoy struggles not to get lost in that stare. “What about myself and lieutenantUhura do you wish to ask?”

McCoy sighs again turning back to the window, which shows nothing but open space. It still made him slightly dizzy but he was getting used to it. “You two seemed to be . . .well together. But last time I checked . . .” _you were kissing me._ He doesn’t say it though, can’t be the first one to say it.

“Ah.” Spock too stares out the observation window. “That is no longer the case.”

McCoy finally looks over at the Vulcan. “Sorry.”

He offers the other man the flask, which Spock does not take; probably just as well McCoy’s not sure how it would have reacted with the medication Spock’s on. “Women” He mutters to himself thinking of his own marriage, and Spock raises one eyebrow at him. McCoy takes a swig from his flask and steals himself.

“So you two,” He doesn’t want to ask it but he has to know. “You broke up before we . . .” He gestures vaguely between them with the flask.

Spock actually looks shocked that he’s even asking. “Of course. I would not have made any overtures towards you otherwise.”

McCoy almost laughs but manages to control himself in time. “Good to know.”

They stand there in silence again for a few more minutes until McCoy works up the courage to ask the next unpleasant question on his list of unpleasant questions. “So what is this . . .” He gestures again. “What are we doing Spock?”

The Vulcan looks down at his clasped hands on the railing. “I do not know.” His voice is quiet, and there’s a vulnerability lurking underneath that makes McCoy put aside his flask and really look at the other man hard.

“Ok then.” McCoy pitches his own voice quiet and gentle as well.

Spock turns his head slightly to look at him, and McCoy moves, turning Spock’s face and tipping it up before kissing him. Spock’s lips are so tentative, McCoy gently licks at the other man’s mouth trying to deepen the kiss and slowly Spock’s lips part under his. McCoy waits for Spock to take control of the kiss, but he doesn’t so McCoy pushes forward into the other man’s mouth gently stroking his tongue against Spock’s and only then does Spock’s tongue gently almost shyly brush against his. McCoy curls one hand around the back of Spock’s head and Spock’s hand raises to grip his shoulder awkwardly. Finally McCoy pulls away, panting slightly, but doesn’t let go of Spock, watching the other man through half hooded eyes. _He’s not very good at this,_ McCoy thinks and for some reason the realization warms and emboldens him. It doesn’t seem like this is going to go the way he had originally thought and he finds he’s ok with that. 

“We could . . .um.” McCoy licks his lips and thinks about this carefully before meeting Spock’s eyes. “Whatever you want Spock.” He says softly “this is whatever you want it to be, ok?”

Spock nods, and McCoy wonders how long it’ll take them before he does something he thinks Spock needs instead of wants and then pushes that thought aside, _not yet_.Instead he stands and pulls Spock into an embrace. Spock seems to be more comfortable with this and he puts one arm around McCoy’s waist and the other around his shoulders pulling him close. McCoy sighs and lets his face rest briefly in the curve of Spock’s throat. 

“I think.” There is still a gentle vulnerability in Spock’s voice but the fingers that take McCoy face and tip it towards Spock’s are strong. “I think I would like to kiss you again, Doctor.”

Spock says it so seriously that McCoy cannot help but smile slightly as he tips his face forward and lets Spock do just that.

    

 


End file.
